I don’t encourage packages from home. First of all, they are expensive to send – packages over sent overseas are not cheap and being the frugal guy that I am, I’m not wanting to waste. Second, my fear has been that those boxes from home sometimes only remind a person of what they have left behind – and sometimes, that is a blessing, sometimes that is a curse.
Aside from the weekly mail calls that come in from my good friends in Minneapolis who are gathering my mail for me and sending over, I’ve only gotten one package – and much welcomed and well timed Christmas package from DeWitz clan in Claremont, Minnesota.
Normally once a week, the package of mail comes in and I get the call from the receptionist, “There is a package at the desk for you.”
Last week when the call came, it wasn’t the normal oversized envelope…it was a whole box!
Taking it back to my desk like a man that won the lottery or struck gold, I cradled it in my arms.
“What do you have there?” One of the other managers in the office inquired.
“It’s a package from the states! Isn’t it great! This is great! Isn’t this great! Don’t touch it.” I replied.
Carrying back to my desk, I read the label – “fake snow, books, card.” It was from my good friends Geoff and Amber. Thinking fondly on the snow of home and old friends for a second, I then moved to the task at hand and proceeded to destroy the box.
That is when I discovered…the contraband!
Out of the box came the small package of fake snow, the book, the card…the wild rice, the corn nuts, the candy, and the fortune cookies!
“Ah, can you really get that stuff into the country?” another manager asked.
“Shut up and try a corn nut.” I ordered.
I will admit, I passed the corn nuts around the office and all that tried them were duly impressed. The fortune cookies on the other hand…those, I horded for myself, for they weren’t ordinary fortuen cookies, they were Ole and Lena fortune cookie with an Ole and Lena joke packed inside of everyone.
Each one of those cookies were carefully cracked open. Each joke was dutifully read outloud to no one in particular. Each joke was met with my own jolly laugh, echoing across the open office. Each one of those jokes was explained, and explained, and further explained to the Australians who just didn’t see the humor in them.
And now, in there entirety, the full treasure from those great morsels….
Ole and Lena are the “Honeydew” stage of marriage. “Honey, dew dis; Honey dew dat.”
The waiter rushed to Lena’s table and said, “Your husband just slid under the table.” Lena replied, “No, my husband’s yust coming in the door.”
Ole said, “I could care less if the price of gas goes up, I just buy five dollars’ worth anyway.”
Ole finally talked Lena into playing the flute instead of the piano. Lars asked, “Why did you do that?” Ole replied, “You can’t sing while playing the flute.”
Lena said, “Ole, why are your pants soaking wet?” Ole replied, “Vell, the tag said ‘vash and vear’.”
Lena told Ole, “My two specialties are meatballs and peach pie.” “I see,” said Ole, “And which one is this?”
When Lena wanted to diet, the doctor said she should ride her horse an hour a day. The first week her horse lost 15 pounds.
Lena got a job in a dress shop. One day a lady asked if she could try on the dress in the window. Lena said, “No, I’d really prefer if you use the dressing room like everybody else.”
And the last, and maybe my favorite….
Ole asked Lena to get him a pair of loafers…Lena came back an hour later with two Swedes.