Part of moving into a new place, assimulating into a culture, and just plain out settling in is doing the necessary shopping.  Moving half way around the world, this presents some unique challenges, being in an English speaking, westernized society, it makes things easier.That doesn’t mean that it isn’t fraught with surprises.

My first day on the ground, I visited one of the two large grocery store chains that dominates the country, Woolworths, or as it is more commonly referred to, Woolies.

A side note - as I’ve come to discover, everything is abbreviated with a “ie” added to the end of it.  While I’m not Markie yet, I fully expect it to happen, and soon.

Back to the matter at hand.

My first day on the ground, I visited Woolworths - er - Woolies.  It is a nice grocery store.  Learning some tricks from back home, I went only down the fruit, dairy, and bread isles - though they were a bit jumbled.  The fruit was all Australian fresh.  The yogurt of Australian origin.  The reconcentrated mango orange pineapple fruit juice…not sure, but guessing it was fairly close to Australia.

I was set to survive at least for a while, in Australia.

This last weekend, with some of my necessities from home running low, I decided I’d better be more adventurous.  I visited the Pharmacy.

This was more of an adventure.

“Excuse me, I’m looking for your sticks of deoderant.”  I asked the young lady at the counter.

“Yeah, no problem mate, they are just over there.  Though here we call them ‘sprays.’” She replied with all seriousness.  Compared to the US, where there are literally rows and rows of stick deoderant, here there was about four, total, all sprays.

Meanwhile, my hard to find shampoo was front and center on the shelf, the floss tools that my dentist told me were a must were sold by the gross, and my specialty razor blades that were hard to find in the states are the number one seller in Melbourne.

But darned if I could find the Q-tips.

My next stop was the grocery store - not so much for groceries, but because I needed shoe laces, and thinking about my pharmacy experience and knowledge from back home - Woolies had to have shoelaces.

I wondered the store - the aisle with coffee, greeting cards, and canned pineapple.  The aisle with the questionable fruit juice, tupperware, and cookies.  The aisle with mops, toilet paper and Christmas candy.  The area with cookware, Mexican food, and klenex.

I couldn’t find the shoelaces.

In an act of final desperation, I asked one of the employees.

“Sir, could you tell me if you carry shoelaces?”  I asked.

“Well of cause mate!” was the reply.

“Where would I find them?”  I inquired.

“Need to the underwear and socks.”  The employee replied with a confused look on his face thinking, ‘doesn’t this man know where to find shoelaces.

“And where are those?”  I asked.

(Long sigh) “In the freezer section.”  He replied with disgust…I’m sure thinking those ignorant Americans.

I bought a pair of socks too - just in case the next store doesn’t have a freezer section.