Iran, Venezuela Condemn, Support Man’s Vacation
June 12th, 2008June 12, 2008
Caracas, Venezuela - As the world continues to investigate high prices for petroleum, including potential tampering by oil rich nations, Iran and Venezuela has condemn the United States, and has taken the unusual step of both condemning and supporting a man planning on taking a vacation next week.
The Minnesota man is planning a vacation that will take him as far west as Miles City, Montana. Most people, especially the state of North Dakota, are supporting his trip.
Venezuelan dictator Hugo Chavez released the following statement:
“We condemn the materialistic, capitalist dogs in America who refuse to give us money to spread our socialistic, inefficient economic society around the globe with aid. We also condemn the commodity trading scum who is planning on traveling through Minnesota and throughout North Dakota next week, even though we support this effort and wish him the best of luck in his travels on $5 gasoline. May he die a thousands deaths and travel safely.”
Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad was even more blunt in their assessment of the situation:
“We condemn this American who is planning his vacation. We condemn his country and all it stands for. We condemn the way of life that they live. We condemn that society that lives on freedom and hope. We condemn everything that we don’t believe is true. But we wish to thank the infidel for willingly driving the 500 miles one way and wish him a Dairy Queen may great him at his destination.”
Diplomatic tensions, while tense, should not interfere with the mans planned vacation. The only exception being Canada which was less then happy by the news that the man would not be crossing the border.
“We got everything they got in North Dakota eh. Flat land eh? Check eh. Farms eh? Check eh. Red River Valley eh? Check eh. Oh sure eh, we don’t got some of the sites, but its not so bad eh. We got putain and toques. Plus our moneys more colorful eh. North Dakota ain’t even got no colorful money eh.” Stated the Canadian consulate.
The official reply from the soon to be vacationing was equally clear: “As our dear friends to the north would say, take off you hosers.”